Breastimonial: Please Stare at My Tits

I’m not speaking for all women here. These are my opinions and no one else’s, but I like it when men stare at my tits. It’s true. I love staring at other women’s breasts and it doesn’t bother me one bit when someone stares at mine. 

Now I’m not saying I want to walk around all day with everyone’s eyes glued to my breasts, which has been known to happen. 

But when I’m dressed up and flaunting the girls, I absolutely want you to stare.

That’s why I’m wearing that bra that’s two sizes too small. Sometimes this girl just wants to be treated like a piece of meat. 

My favorite thing is to catch a guy peeking down while trying to pretend that he’s looking at something else. I’m not nearly as subtle when I stare at boobs.

Half the time I’ll walk right up to a girl and tell her, her tits look amazing in that dress.

Everyone loves a compliment, right?

Here’s the thing about having big boobs, they’re painful. They make life difficult and don’t even get me started on how expensive bras are for big breasted women. Guys, imagine how you would feel, being blessed with an extra large penis but then being told that every pair of underwear you had to buy was going to be at least $60-$80. Suddenly you don’t feel so lucky. 

The way I make up for all the grief, and shoulder pain that my giant boobs cause me is by taking joy in displaying them once and a while. The same way skinny girls with rocking abs wear crop tops all the time. If you got it, flaunt it!

So if my watermelons are bursting out of a little cotton sundress, then I want you to stare at them, please.

You have my full permission. Just don’t assume all women are the same. Not every woman enjoys being objectified or choked. Guess I’m just special.