The 10 Best Naked Booby Beaches In The US
Now that summer is finally here and the weather is starting to heat up, we're finding it very hard to keep our minds on work. Luckily for us, work involves looking at boobies so we figured instead of looking at breasts on the computer we’d go out into the open and see some topless tanning ta tas in person. Here’s a list of the 10 best beaches in the country to see real live naked boobies. Warning, many of these beaches are completely clothing optional so be prepared to see a lot more than just glistening nipples.
California
What do you get when you combine 840 miles of coastline with a massive free-love hippy scene and countless state and national parks? A whopping amount of nude beaches, at least 33 by our count. Stretching from the south to the north, you won’t have to travel far to get your bare sunbathing booby fix.
1. Blacks Beach - San Diego
Considered one of the oldest and longest clothing-optional beaches in the country, Blacks Beach is famous for its wicked surf breaks and family-friendly nude beach. The fact that it’s difficult to get to is one of the reasons it’s remained a haven for those who love to play naked beach volleyball. Ya that’s a thing. So is naked surfing, be sure to keep an eye out for June’s breastimonial to read more about that.
2. Baker Beach- San Francisco
No surprise that the hippy capital of the world should have more nude beaches than anywhere else in the country. Baker Beach might not have the best swimming options. It’s known for its dangerous rip tides. But it does have a strong Burning Man vibe with great views of the Golden Gate Bridge and lots of naked frisbee throwing. Explore the jiggle physics of naked hacky sack.
Florida
With 1,350 miles of shoreline and a love for “Girls Gone Wild” Florida makes it very easy to see as many glistening tities as you want to. We found 12 nude beaches listed in the Sunshine State and countless more with topless options.
3. Haulover Beach - Miami
Haulover Beach is the most popular nude beach in the country, getting up to 7,000 visitors in one day during Nude Recreation Week in July. We’re not even sure if we could handle that many oiled nipples in one place. Definitely worth a try though. At least drunken spring breakers won’t have to worry about pesky nipple slips here.
4. Playalinda- Cape Canaveral Seashore
This might be the most epic naked booby beach on the list. In one place you can see topless tanning beauties while drinking a beer and watching rockets rise. That’s not a euphemism. There are actual rockets launching from the nearby Kennedy Space Center.
Hawaii
What’s not to love about Hawaii? Paradise with tropical beaches, rugged volcanic scenery and drinks that come in coconuts with little umbrellas. Add to all of that the fact that sunbathing topless is legal on most beaches and you have the ultimate recipe for relaxation.
5. Kehena Beach- Island of Hawaii
With over 10 nude beaches on the islands, it’s hard to choose just one to visit. However, when you combine the exquisitely exotic black sand beaches of Kehena Beach with bare breasts, it’s impossible to resist.
6. Las Vegas- Nevada
While there are no nude beaches in Las Vegas, there are a whole bunch of hotels and casinos that offer nude and European style sunbathing at their pools. Between naked weekend pool parties and topless poolside clubs, women don’t even have to bother with swimsuit shopping here. Our favorite spots to see skin in Sin City are:
The Mirage’s Bare Pool Lounge- Famous for being the first to bring topless swimming to Las Vegas and very popular with Europeans.
Tao Beach at the Venetian- voted the best club and pool party in the nation.
The Sapphire Pool Gentlemen’s Club- Strippers swimming naked in a pool with bottle service. Enough said.
7. Gunnison Beach- New Jersey
This beach is right across the water from New York City, giving it a great view of the Manhattan skyline. Making this one of the country’s busiest nude beaches. Originally it was an army base where soldiers would swim naked off duty. After the base closed down, the nudity stuck around. We also love that this is another one of those rare beaches where you can drink alcohol and be naked. God bless America.
8. Collins Beach - Oregon
This clothing-optional beach is actually on the Columbia River just outside of Portland. We love that Portlandians are pro nudity. Pacific Northwest weather only allows for a few months of naked frolicking throughout the year, so next time it’s sunny and you're in Portland, run out to Suave Island and get some vitamin D.
9. Moshup Beach - Massachusetts
This idyllic Martha's Vineyard spot is the perfect place to watch the sunset and see some gloriously naked breasts. We love the contrast between the typically conservative Martha’s Vineyard vibe and this wild hedonistic hotspot. Just think how much better that Jaws movie poster would have been if the girl had been swimming naked.
10. Hippie Hollow - Texas
Just outside of Austin sits Lake Travis. Home to the Hippie Hollow State Park. The only clothing optional state park in Texas. So not only can you swim around bare buoyant boobies, but you can also barbecue up some hot dogs and go for a naked hike. We love to see a hippie stronghold right in the middle of the state's capitol.
With so many eye-popping places to visit this summer, we suggest you start booking your next vacation now. Packing will be light and easy. All you need is your birthday suit and your favorite booby shaped pillow. It’s time to give your screens a rest and go out and see the real thing.